The Trouble With Thinking

Sometimes when I have time on my hands, and all I want is to rest, relax, de-work my brain, and think of nothing but knitting and cycling and the flowers on my deck...I end up twisting a thought in my brain, and ponder things far longer than I should.

On Friday of last week, I received a call from an old friend telling me how one of his closest friends had past away. She was young - only 41. Not much older than me. Funny how at 13 or 14 years old, anyone who was a couple years older than us seemed like decades! However, at 38 - 41 is pretty much the same. I knew her, had met her several times, and knew a lot about her. I'm sad she was so young, and I'm especially sad for her family and friends. I suppose I started thinking so much about her because I began to wonder if, at 38, I'd lived my life as best I could? Had I faced all challenges put in front of me? Or had I run away, looking to sweep it under the carpet? Had I lived in the moment, or for the moment? On and on my brain went. I thought about her family, and her friends, and wondered how they felt after the initial shock of her passing. I don't feel old, I've never been one to be bothered by age, but I suppose it was just me taking stock of myself up to this point in my life. The reality is I have to be satisfied with my life, because no one is more responsible for me than, well, me. And, if there is something that isn't working as it should - it's up to me to change it.

At the end of the day, I hope she's in a good place now. I'm sure she is, and is happy. I know those in her life should take comfort in that.

But, it hasn't all been gloom and sadness these past few days here! There has been some scattered knitting -

There have been socks, or at least the start of some. This is some Lisa Souza sock yarn, in the "Mahogany" colour way.

And the start of a sleeve for the Gingko Leaf Tunic.

AND - (wait for it) - LACE!!! Me! Lace! It's the start of the Kiri shawl. Lorraine gifted me the Kidsilk Haze last year for my birthday, and suggested the Kiri shawl would be a good intro to shawl lace knitting.

So far.

So good.

The instructions indicate that the whole shawl, including the edging, should take around 24 hours to complete. Oh, wait for that one. Once I picked myself off the floor laughing at the mere thought of that occuring, I pinned it out and took stock of what I'd done so far. Not bad! I think one of the issues I have with lace is the blobbiness of it all. You know - the fact it kind of resembles, um, nothing until you block it. Unlike Fair Isle or cabling - it all unfolds before your eyes, and you get a good picture of the finished results, not to mention your mistakes.

So, I've tried different things these past few days, and although at the time the thought was that I hadn't accomplished a whole lot, I know see that I have! Yay me!

Oh, and of course, the leave it to the Funny Faces that are the Little Dudes to remind me that I'm THEIR human girl!

"No one can see me! Hee hee, I'm So. Clever. Hey, look Mae! Neeneer neeneer! Oh yeah I'm sticking my tongue out at you! Pfffffttt! Uh oh. Crap, you can see me..."