Tuesday, July 03, 2007

The Trouble With Thinking

Sometimes when I have time on my hands, and all I want is to rest, relax, de-work my brain, and think of nothing but knitting and cycling and the flowers on my deck...I end up twisting a thought in my brain, and ponder things far longer than I should.

On Friday of last week, I received a call from an old friend telling me how one of his closest friends had past away. She was young - only 41. Not much older than me. Funny how at 13 or 14 years old, anyone who was a couple years older than us seemed like decades! However, at 38 - 41 is pretty much the same. I knew her, had met her several times, and knew a lot about her. I'm sad she was so young, and I'm especially sad for her family and friends. I suppose I started thinking so much about her because I began to wonder if, at 38, I'd lived my life as best I could? Had I faced all challenges put in front of me? Or had I run away, looking to sweep it under the carpet? Had I lived in the moment, or for the moment? On and on my brain went. I thought about her family, and her friends, and wondered how they felt after the initial shock of her passing. I don't feel old, I've never been one to be bothered by age, but I suppose it was just me taking stock of myself up to this point in my life. The reality is I have to be satisfied with my life, because no one is more responsible for me than, well, me. And, if there is something that isn't working as it should - it's up to me to change it.

At the end of the day, I hope she's in a good place now. I'm sure she is, and is happy. I know those in her life should take comfort in that.
But, it hasn't all been gloom and sadness these past few days here! There has been some scattered knitting -

There have been socks, or at least the start of some. This is some Lisa Souza sock yarn, in the "Mahogany" colour way.

And the start of a sleeve for the Gingko Leaf Tunic.

AND - (wait for it) - LACE!!! Me! Lace! It's the start of the Kiri shawl. Lorraine gifted me the Kidsilk Haze last year for my birthday, and suggested the Kiri shawl would be a good intro to shawl lace knitting.

So far.

So good.

The instructions indicate that the whole shawl, including the edging, should take around 24 hours to complete. Oh, wait for that one. Once I picked myself off the floor laughing at the mere thought of that occuring, I pinned it out and took stock of what I'd done so far. Not bad! I think one of the issues I have with lace is the blobbiness of it all. You know - the fact it kind of resembles, um, nothing until you block it. Unlike Fair Isle or cabling - it all unfolds before your eyes, and you get a good picture of the finished results, not to mention your mistakes.

So, I've tried different things these past few days, and although at the time the thought was that I hadn't accomplished a whole lot, I know see that I have! Yay me!

Oh, and of course, the leave it to the Funny Faces that are the Little Dudes to remind me that I'm THEIR human girl!

"No one can see me! Hee hee, I'm So. Clever. Hey, look Mae! Neeneer neeneer! Oh yeah I'm sticking my tongue out at you! Pfffffttt! Uh oh. Crap, you can see me..."


Lorraine said...

Brigitte- That's sad news. Makes you stop and think.
My, you've been busy. If you were to sit and knit straight through for 24 hours, you's probably finish the Kiri.
But who do you know that could do that?

Brenda said...

Sorry to hear of your friend's loss. It led you to some good thinking.

Excellent set of WIPs! Lorraine gave you a lovely color of KSH. Could anyone actually knit for 24h without her fingers spasming shut several hours in?

Chris said...

:( That's only a bit older than me!

Wow, socks and lace - am I at the right blog?!

Oh oh, Gandalf, now you're in for it....

Marina said...

Lace? That's a surprise! But a nice one. It's looking good.

Carrie K said...

That Gandalf is suuuuch a goofy kitty.

24 hours to knit lace anything?? No freaking way.

I'm with you on your mind getting in a twist like that - it's always jarring when someone roughly our age dies - and it's not as if we're all living up to our potential or our lives the way we completely want to - but generally speaking, it's close enough. But it's always good to take stock now and again.

A toe up sock? Wow. So. Amphora all done? ;)

miyamojo said...

I think too much too... but it's good to stop and do a reality check once in a while. Sorry about your friend.
Your lace looks great! Love the color! I know what you mean about it being hard to see results & mistakes... got a 'lifeline?' ;)
Noogies to Gandalf. He makes me laugh everytime! :)

Jewel said...

Look at Gandalf. How cute is he??! I'm sorry to hear about your friend. 41 is awfully young. I lost my father when he was 48 and I thought that was OLD. Looking back, that's only a few years older than I am right now. :ahem: Certainly makes you think, doesn't it?

Dipsy said...

Thank you so much for this very thoughtful entry. What you've written is exactly what I'm pondering about often too, and such sad and tragic news like the one with your friend (I'm so very sorry for that!) of course trigger such thoughts immensely. What you wrote is so very, very true! For me, I made this a rule for me many years ago: To live every day as if it'd be the last. This doesn't only include adventures and travels and whatnot, but also lazing around and taking it easy - and knitting of course ;) These hours spent leisurely are so important too, we should never forget trying to add them to our lives as well. Sometimes I'm also trying to pack way too much into a day - but all in all, we should probably try to live our lifes in a way that, if we died tomorrow, we could say: "It was good" - don't you think?
Thinking about you, my friend.

Tracey said...

I am sorry for your friend's loss. Although, it does remind us that our time here is so short, and sometimes, we need to take stock of our own lives.

The lace bug is rampant. It bit me too. How odd is that? It's everywhere. I think it resembles I pile of ramen noodles before blocking. I think that's part of the magic of lace tho, you block and WHOA! I did that?! Amazing!

Rebekah said...

that is so sad, time flies by and we don't even notice until then something like that happens and it makes us stop and think. I think we can all learn a lesson that we need to appreciate evry moment so we have no regrets.

Those are beautiful projects.

I'd like to snuggle up with Gandalf. He just looksl ike a cool cat.

Carrie said...

This blog entry has given me a lot to think about. You and I appear to be the same age, and now I'm asking myself the same questions. Have I done all that I could to live the best that I can? More to think about late at night, as I stitch...

By the by, I copied your Kiri picture and am putting it on my blog. It's coming along great! 24 hours, ay? Then a short trip for hand surgery afterwards....

Carrie said...

Yes, I wish my LYS would sell anything remotely like Kidsilk Haze. She's very much a merino lady, which is fine for most things... *sigh* In the meantime, it's wait for the postman, for me!

knitseashore said...

I love when they hide their head and body under a blanket or the bed, but their tail sticks out. Invisible!

That is sad news about your friend's friend. It does make you stop and think about making time to do all those things you never seem to get to.

Angelika said...

Push the link on my blog and it'll take you to it. Drop me an email, so I can email you back. Link also on my blog.

Nicole said...

The lace looks great! Welcome to the lace knitters' world. It's a lot of fun, once you get used to it.

And the little dudes are a great way to feel young (or old) again, huh?

sillyewe said...

Amen, sista! I hadn't read this entry before my brother passed last week at age 43. Wish I would have. I am sorry for your loss, too, Brigitte. It reminds us of how fleeting life is and how complacent we become about having our loved ones near us. There is never enough time and we never feel as if we did enough.